I often get asked if I'm a Groundhopper ... and I usually categorically refute any such allegation.
However today, well ... I've been caught red handed and I'm guilty as charged innit
This morning, I gratefully rested my aching bones and weary carcass in the back seat of Mr C. Picken's auto-mobile, before heading south, down the A1, in the general direction of Peterborough.
For those of you who don't already know, Colin lives in Scotter, which is the capital city of Lincolnshire... and he's the mayor there, but doesn't wear his ceremonial garb or chains of office to go to the football very often, unless he's of a mind to show off.
Peterborough United, AKA 'The Posh', were playing away this afternoon, 'oop north in Middlesbrough.
But that was of little consequence to us, because today, our intrepid trio of thrill seekers were pushing back the boundaries and going elsewhere anyway, for a ChromaSport &Trophies United Counties Football League double header, at a couple of grounds that none of us had ever visited before.
Woo hoo!
Our itinerary for this expedition was: 1) In2itive Park, the home of Yaxley FC, followed by a mad dash across the city to 2) Peterborough Northern Star's Focus Community Centre home, 7 miles to the north in the awe-inspiringly named suburb of Dogsthorpe.
I'm indebted to Colin for inviting me along today and offering to drive, because the dislocated shoulder I suffered in the run up to Xmas, is making driving a very uncomfortable experience at present.
And until I can get my own car fixed next week (ever tried finding a garage that is open over the festive season?) I can only embark upon - "Short distance runs only mate ... and take it bloody steady!" - according to the kindly mechanic who generously donated a small portion of his Yuletide holiday to give my car a quick once over (at a price).Not that I'm trying to milk the sympathy angle here, because I know none of you really give a flying one anyway.
Saturday 31st December 2011
at In2itive Park, Leading Drove, Yaxley, PE7 3NA
United Counties League - Premier Division
Yaxley (1) 1
Ricky Hailstone 21
Irchester United (0) 0
Admission £6 Programme £1
Yaxley:
Lea Jordan, Ryan Wood, Lewis Stone, Aaron Ridout, Matt Holland, Pete Smith (Sam Bate), Paul Jones, Dan Fountain (Jones De Sousa), Sam Bettinson, Ricky Hailstone, Andy Beech (Josh Rosser)
Irchester United:
Gavin Harding, Dean Hopewell, Joe Hopewell, Phil Lawrence (Lewis Strafford), Chris Gell, Jake Gillingwater, Liam Bright (Dave Maguire), Gary Storher, Matt White, Stuart Reid, Lee Thompson (Curtis Long)
There are 21 clubs in the UCL Premier Division.
Prior to kick-off Yaxley were sat rather uncomfortably in twentieth place, just two points above Desborough Town who have played 2 games less than the rather quaintly nicknamed 'Cuckoos'.
By comparison, this lunchtime's visitors, Wellingborough based Irchester United, are having a much better season and travelled to Yaxley today, formidably looking down on their hosts from a lofty position of 17th in the table.
How mouth watering can any prospect get, I ask you!?.
A precautionary call was made to Yaxley FC en route. to check if the game was on, given the amount of persistent rain there had been over the past couple of days. And we were cheerily informed that there was no problem whatsoever with the pitch in-spite of the overnight deluge and there wasn't any need for a pitch inspection.
I was reliably informed by fellow traveller Paul Hawkins, that this area of the country is historically known as 'The Soak'.
Well it had lived up to it's name today ... and I learnt a new and fascinating geographical fact, that will liven up many a bar room debate in the future, whenever the eight different types precipitation and their effects on the local landscape in Huntingdonshire (which is a non-metropolitan district of Cambridgeshire) happen to pop up in conversation.
I was reliably informed by fellow traveller Paul Hawkins, that this area of the country is historically known as 'The Soak'.
Well it had lived up to it's name today ... and I learnt a new and fascinating geographical fact, that will liven up many a bar room debate in the future, whenever the eight different types precipitation and their effects on the local landscape in Huntingdonshire (which is a non-metropolitan district of Cambridgeshire) happen to pop up in conversation.
They're a friendly lot in Yaxley and seemed genuinely pleased that we'd made the effort to travel any distance to watch them. For the record, it's approximately a one hundred and forty mile round trip to Yaxley from my happy abode in East Retford upon Idle and roughly one hundred and seventy miles all told from/to the Gamekeeper public house in Scotter, where Colin lives ;-)
The home side were on top in the first half, while Irchester struggled to put more than a couple of passes together.
It wasn't exactly a game for the purists, but there was plenty of effort and endeavour on display.
On ten minutes there was a hold up in play, while the ball nestled in the neat row of conifers that stands along one side of the pitch, acting as a wind break.
Thankfully a selection of match balls were available and the game could continue.
We didn't really want any more delays, the timing in between our first and second games of the afternoon was critical and depended on this one finishing on time.
The elders of the conventions of Groundhopping pedantry (of whom there are many), would drum us out of the Tufty Club, make us stand on the naughty step and confiscate our badges, if we were to shave a couple of minutes off of either game and miss any of the action, even if it was deemed necessary to adhere to the small matter of obeying the rules of the highway code and the law of the land.
We must adhere to road safety and speed limits on the Queen's highway; but hell have no fury like some stopwatch brandishing Mr Angry character who permeate certain internet forums. But, for the record, we can keep hold of our anoraks, Thermos flasks, notepads, pens, cameras and dry pair of spare socks for a little while longer yet ... and we did it without Sat Nav guidance or the aid of potted and plotted directions from obscure Non League travel digests, handbooks and directories.
Mavericks on tour, or what!?
 |
| The other loos in the clubhouse are much nicer. |
That said, I was sorely tempted to deliberately leave Yaxley's game early and then stand around in the muddy over-spill car park at Northern Star's ground until five past three, just to prove what a militant old punk and anarchist and rebel I still am.
As yet another ball went sailing over into the nearby allotments, an octogenarian local bemoaned "What a daft bugger, a simple tap out of play would've done. Knowing this ref, if we run out of balls he'll call the game off!"
Personally, without actually having a ball to use, I'm hard pushed to see how any referee in the world would've had any other alternative to be honest, but I kind of understood the gist of what he was getting at. "You wouldn't boot it over there if you had to fetch it yourself, you little twerp!"
The the referee's assistant nearest to where we were standing looked as if he might have been one of the popular Eighties pop-combo Bucks Fizz in a previous life... and he still had the immaculately styled hair to boot... this official certainly didn't let indecision take him from behind, he trusted his inner vision and didn't let others change his mind his mind.
And he was definitely spot on whenever there came a time for making his mind up.
Somebody shouted out at the official: "Are you from the land of make believe liner!? Because you look like you're that David van Day out of Bucks Fizz!"
What a pillock! I thought everybody knew that David van Day was in Guys and Doll, before leaving them, along with his band-mate (and girlfiend), the Canadian-born songstress Thereza Bazar, to form the successful duo: Dollar.
In the twenty first minute Yaxley scored the only goal of the game... and keeping with the fare on offert thus far, it was a scrappy one.Lewis Stone drilled an in-swinging right wing corner into the mix, where it cannoned off of a couple of players, before the home side's captain Ricky Hailstone managed to nod it over the line.
Lewis Stone's dead ball prowess was at the centre of Yaxley's two other decent chances in the first half.
Another of his pinpoint corners was knocked narrowly wide by Aaron Ridout, before the Yaxley number 3 saw his free kick well saved by Gavin Harding on the stroke of half time.
After a poor showing in the first half, the Romans invaded Yaxley territory at will after the break and went about building some straight roads that led right into the heart of the home sides defence.
Lea Jordan, Yaxley's keeper, hadn't had much to do for the first 45 minutes and was so underused he would've been better employed retrieving stray balls from around the perimeter of the ground, but he earned my vote as man of the match in the second half, with a string of top class saves that without a doubt, won his side all three points today, just as much as his captain's first half goal.
Jordan was at full stretch and running backwards when he managed to tip Stuart Reid's goal-bound effort over the crossbar, it was an outstanding save.Minutes later he managed to get enough of a touch onto a Jake Gillingwater shot to turn it against the bar.
Irchester's attacks were coming thick and fast now, Dean Hopewell was denied by Jordan (again) and so was Gary Stohrer.
"Oi! Spiderman. How long have you been a goalkeeper?" called out a jovial chap, who stood chuckling at his own witticisms throughout the game. It takes all sorts.
Curtis Long sent a cross in from the right wing and it looked as though Stuart Reid must score from a header at the back post, but he headed wide when it looked harder to miss than to hit the target (see his team mates reaction above).
Right at the end of the game Lea Jordan was finally beaten, but Jake Gillingwater's free kick flew narrowly wide of the goal.
As the referee blew for full time we were already in the starting blocks next to the exit and were heading out of the car park before the first of the players had even reached the changing rooms.
At the halfway stage, Yaxley had just about deserved to be in front and Irchester United definitely deserved to be behind, because the visitors hadn't played very well at all up to that point ... to put it very mildly.
But the Romans attacked like a team possessed after the restart and if the Yaxley players got any kind of a win bonus for that result, they should all donate them to their keeper Lea Jordan.
In a nutshell, a game that had promised and delivered very little for a while, was completely transformed and ended up being quite entertaining in the end.
14 minutes later ...
Saturday 31st December 2011
at Focus Community Centre, Chesnut Avenue, Dogsthorpe
United Counties League - Premier Division
Peterborough Northern Star (0) 2
Karl Gibbs 77, John Stead 90+2 penalty
Kings Lynn Town (1) 2
Luke Thurlbourne 5, Stephen Spriggs 57
Admission £5 Programme £1 Attendance 466
Peterborough Northern Star:
Luke McShane, Nathan Horne, Mark Cox, Dan Clements, Richard Jones, Wayne Morris, Ali Nyang, Liam Hook, Matt Cook (Karl Gibbs), Jon Stead, Addie Staffieri (Avelino Vieira)
Kings Lynn Town:
Alex Street, Ryan Fryatt, Jordan Yong, Dan Buhlemann, Stuart Wall, Rob Hughes, Stephen Spriggs (Danny White), Luke Thurlbourne, Liam Harrold (Robbie Harris), Danny Beaumont (Nelson Moreira), Jamie Thurlbourne
A top of the table clash, between 4th placed Peterborough Northern Star and the league leaders, Kings Lynn Town.
The Peterborough side, formed in 1905, have previously been called both Northern Star and Eye United, which explains why their nickname is the 'Eyes'
Town were formed in 2010 following the demise of the original Kings Lynn team, who's 130 year history stretched back as far as 1879.
The home side attacked inside the first minute and Alex Street, the Linnets keeper, was soon in action, making the first save of the game, his block ran loose to the incoming John Stead (see above) who's effort from the rebound was well off target.
The opening exchange was a wake up call for the visitors and soon the play switched ends and Luke Thurlbourne got on the end of a Stephen Spriggs cross to head home the opening goal.
From then on, it was Kings Lynn, playing today in a revolting slime green and dull grey away kit, instead of their usual rather swanky yellow and blue ensemble who had by far the better of the first half.
However to their credit, PNS didn't panic or start hitting the ball long in an effort to chase the game, when they did have the ball they kept it down and passed it around.
The sizeable following from Kings Lynn, acted as a 12th man for their side, geeing up their own players while trying to unsettle the Northern Star lads and match officials.
Sadly there was a small element amongst them who's hostility overstepped the mark at times, especially with some abuse and 'wisecracks' aimed in the direction of Ali Nyang, the home side's number 7.
The competitive and combative attacking midfielder, is in effect, the engine room of the Northern Star side, but although he isn't particularly shy about making his presence felt, he was also on the receiving end of a fair bit of physical stuff too.
"Even if the ref can't say what you are, cos he's not allowed to be racist, Luis Suarez and John Terry would f***ing tell you!" was one of the more repeatable insults thrown in the direction of the pitch.
I hasten to add that the majority of the away support were perfectly well behaved and a credit to Kings Lynn Town.
There were a lot of Linnets fans present and the majority of them were there to watch the game and support their team.
But half a dozen or so of them revelled in the confidence highs that too much alcohol and safety in numbers numerical advantage gives big gobs and cowards, when they are afforded the shield of anonymity when hiding in a crowd.
Kings Lynn, are a good side... and I'm really glad their reformation gave the original club's supporters a 'back from the dead' side a team to support, because I've always enjoyed going to games at their ground in the past, right back to the time when Peter Morris was the manager there.
However it would be easy to see how a small (but vociferous) minority could get Kings Lynn Town a bad name if the club allow them to get a foothold. I'll gladly chip in if they feel the need to hire a sniper to rid the world of these vermin. There is only one race... and that's the human race!
I feel compelled to repeat myself here however, just to emphasis a point ... it was only a few idiots indulging in the unwanted bravado crap and the over-riding majority of the Kings Lynn following are decent people who had nothing whatsoever to do with the vile taunts, other than the handful who told/asked the imbeciles to 'shut up!', or words to that effect.
My own quickly formed opinion of Ali Nyang is ... although this is the only time I've ever seen him play, if first impressions are anything to go by, I wouldn't be surprised to see him doing his stuff at an higher level than the UCL any time soon, there were some really good players on both sides, but Nyang stood out more than any of the others. He's a proper human battering ram, if I've ever seen one.
Incidentally, Stephen Spriggs, the Kings Lynn number 7, deserves a special mention for his performance today too.
However to their credit, PNS didn't panic or start hitting the ball long in an effort to chase the game, when they did have the ball they kept it down and passed it around.
The sizeable following from Kings Lynn, acted as a 12th man for their side, geeing up their own players while trying to unsettle the Northern Star lads and match officials.Sadly there was a small element amongst them who's hostility overstepped the mark at times, especially with some abuse and 'wisecracks' aimed in the direction of Ali Nyang, the home side's number 7.
The competitive and combative attacking midfielder, is in effect, the engine room of the Northern Star side, but although he isn't particularly shy about making his presence felt, he was also on the receiving end of a fair bit of physical stuff too.
"Even if the ref can't say what you are, cos he's not allowed to be racist, Luis Suarez and John Terry would f***ing tell you!" was one of the more repeatable insults thrown in the direction of the pitch.I hasten to add that the majority of the away support were perfectly well behaved and a credit to Kings Lynn Town.
There were a lot of Linnets fans present and the majority of them were there to watch the game and support their team.
But half a dozen or so of them revelled in the confidence highs that too much alcohol and safety in numbers numerical advantage gives big gobs and cowards, when they are afforded the shield of anonymity when hiding in a crowd.
Kings Lynn, are a good side... and I'm really glad their reformation gave the original club's supporters a 'back from the dead' side a team to support, because I've always enjoyed going to games at their ground in the past, right back to the time when Peter Morris was the manager there.However it would be easy to see how a small (but vociferous) minority could get Kings Lynn Town a bad name if the club allow them to get a foothold. I'll gladly chip in if they feel the need to hire a sniper to rid the world of these vermin. There is only one race... and that's the human race!
I feel compelled to repeat myself here however, just to emphasis a point ... it was only a few idiots indulging in the unwanted bravado crap and the over-riding majority of the Kings Lynn following are decent people who had nothing whatsoever to do with the vile taunts, other than the handful who told/asked the imbeciles to 'shut up!', or words to that effect.
Incidentally, Stephen Spriggs, the Kings Lynn number 7, deserves a special mention for his performance today too.
When half time came, Kings Lynn hadn't managed to extend their lead, despite having had plenty of play in and around the Northern Star box and the teams went off with just a single goal separating them.
There was an amusing moment as the players were leaving the pitch for the interval break and one of them decided to have a moan at a linesman over a decision he had allegedly got wrong.
The official replied "OK mate, hands up! I made one mistake in 45 minutes, how many did you make?"
'A no show from Davros' 'lads' again'.
The Time Lords in the ground were disappointed that the Daleks
The Time Lords in the ground were disappointed that the Daleks
had failed to turn up for their traditional Bank Holiday punch up.
Kings Lynn ought to have extended their lead when Steve Spriggs put a cross into the path of Liam Harold, but he narrowly failed to make the slightest contact that the chance needed.
But on 57 minutes the ever lively Spriggs, took advantage of North Star's defender Mark Cox standing off him and ran through to make the score 0-2.
At this point, it looked as if Kings Lynn Town's impressive record of not having dropped a point away from home this season would remain intact.
Northern Star's manager Chris Plummer made a double substitution sending on Karl Gibbs and Avelino Vierra... and it proved to be an inspired switch.Gibbs pulled a goal back on 77 minutes, his first strike came back to him off a defender and he calmly rolled his second past Alex Street, who seemed to be anticipating the second-half sub to belt his effort rather than place it, but precision over power won the day.
Game on!
The Peterborough side rode their luck a few minutes later, when a combination of the visitors substitutes saw Robbie Harris head a Danny White cross against the bar.
Two minutes into stoppage time, Avelino Vierra was stopped in his tracks as the hosts advanced on the visitors goal for one final push.
John Stead put the penalty kick away comfortably, even though Alex Street got a slight touch to it... and Kings Lynn's run of consecutive away wins had been halted.
But they're still unbeaten on the road in the UCL Premier Division and nailed on certs for the title.
I think it would be fair to say, that we had witnessed an apparent gap in class today, or maybe even a gulf, between games at the top and bottom of the UCL league table... and though I have nothing against Kings Lynn Town and wish them well for the future, I hope that John Stead's late, late equaliser meant that the small-minded wankers who'd been making monkey noises in Ali Nyang's direction had a miserable journey home.
I'm looking forward to visiting a few more places that I've never been to before in 'The Soak' soon... watch this space.
Performance of the day: Mr Colin Picken, for navigating the route between Yaxley and Dogsthorpe to get us to the second game in time for kick off with two minutes to spare, ensuring that we didn't miss a single moment of the day's football.
Personally I would never have gambled on that left turn at the first traffic lights and we'd probably still be driving around Dogsthorpe now, looking in vain for the floodlights, if I was at the controls.
Good call that man!
