Friday 15th April 2022
EFL Championship
Birmingham City (2) 2
Kristian Pedersen 12, Gary Gardner 39
Coventry City (2) 4
Ben Sheaf 40, 45, Michael Rose 71, Callum O'Hare 90
Attendance: 17,634.
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Birmingham City: Zach Jeacock, Nico Gordon (Taylor Richards 76), Marc Roberts, Kristian Pedersen, Maxime Colin, Gary Gardner (Captain), Ryan Woods, Onel Hernandez, Juninho Bacuna (Troy Deeney 75), Lyle Taylor, Scott Hogan (Lukas Jutkiewicz 87).
Unused subs - Connal Trueman, Jordan Graham, Ivan Sunjic, Jeremie Bela.
Coventry City: Simon Moore, Michael Rose, Dominic Hyam (Captain), Jake Bidwell, Fankaty Dabo (Todd Kane 62), Jamie Allen, Ben Sheaf, Gustavo Hamer (Kyle McFadzean 82), Ian Maatsen (Martyn Waghorn 87), Callum O’Hare, Viktor Gyokeres.
Unused subs - Ben Wilson, Liam Kelly, Jodi Jones, Fabio Tavares.
Birmingham City are now mathematically safe from the drop to League One, for at least another year, but as things stand they still need to get some more points on board, to confirm that they have survived on their own merits, rather than having only escaped the drop due to both Derby County and Reading's point deductions this term.
The scene was set: Lee Bowyer's buoyant Blues were riding high on the crest of a wave at two-nil to the good, with five minutes to go until half-time, what could possibly go wrong?Hmm... what indeed!?
Capitulation is one way of describing what happened next, but I could probably think of several more suitable words beginning with the same letter that would be infinitely be more apt to describe this abject performance. I had to bite my tongue, really hard, because my wife was sat beside me at what was our first (and for me most important) port of call on a fun seventy-two hours of activities that we were cramming into my birthday weekend.
In years to come, if anybody had bothered to record this game for posterity, the footage could become an invaluable coaching aid, titled 'How not to defend set pieces'. Both teams were as guilty as each other, but of course 'the boys in royal blue' simply had to top the pair of 'Cov' lapses at the back and weigh in with exactly twice the amount of unforced errors themselves.
I was accused of becoming even more cynical in my old age (59 today as it happens), when I celebrated Blues second goal, a free header for Gary Gardner from a long throw-in, launched into the Coventry goalmouth by Marc Roberts... I'll repeat that in case you missed it: from a long throw-in by Marc Roberts, by announcing: "Two-nil. Hang on a minute, they might even get a draw out of this one today!"
But, what was initially perceived to be pessimism, borne out of ingrained realism, was actually an over optimistic example of wishful-bloody-thinking on my part.
I need to stop dropping my guard and really should know better by now.
Incidentally, if you're not familiar with the concept of long throw-ins by the Blues' number 4, let me enlighten you. Roberts is great at chucking a leather sphere a looong, looong way and this specialised 'asset' is (over)used a hell of a lot... however, the moment he steps forward towards the touchline to launch the ball, the majority of the St. Andrew's crowd usually find something else to do for a few moments, as yet another chance goes begging and this wearingly frequent waste of time tactic amounts to absolutely nothing, again and again... and again.
Hence, I wonder how many Blues fans actually missed Gardner's headed goal, because they had briefly looked away to check the scores elsewhere on their phones, or count the pigeons on the main stand roof, because they had accustomed, quite understandably, to merely assume that the home side were: "F*cking about with another one of those pointless long throw-ins... again".
The law of averages says that if you keep on hammering square pegs into round holes long enough, then eventually one of them is going to fit. And that given enough time the Labour Party might in due course hit upon a credible leader, who'll provide them with the status of electable opposition to the odious Tories (please don't try to tell me that Kier Starmer is that person. I might be getting on but I can still land a decent right-hook when suitably provoked).
But what price Blues scoring directly from a Marc Roberts throw in? Bugger me! That's stretching the credibility of long-odds betting to the max.
But, it did happen and we were there to see it. Don't you wish that you'd have been paying more attention too!?
I might get even a t-shirt made to commemorate the moment.
Pedersen has (quite unfairly in my humble opinion) been singled out by some supporters as a scapegoat for yet another dismal season of underachievement and sub-mediocre fare at Blues, so as he triumphantly punched the air, I genuinely hope that there was an element of: "Have some of that! And get off my effing case now!", threaded into his celebrations.
It is expensive to watch football and people who dig deep to attend games are entitled to their opinions, but singling out individuals to blame for all of the woes of the world, when football is a team game (i.e. collective responsibility rules apply), is not only crass, it's undignified and embarrassing too.
Hence, I hereby dedicated Pedersen's goal to the cretin sat a few rows behind us, who was even singling the Danish defender out for abuse while the players were warming up, at the other end of the pitch.
One of the worst aspects of all-seater grounds, is that when you're sat near a gobshite, you're invariably stuck with having to listen to their bull-crap for the duration.
Thankfully I wasn't sitting in the area of the ground that I usually watch games from today and my frank exchange of words with Mr Critical won't ever need to be repeated. Things got fairly heated for a while, but I was placated when an elderly lady sat on the same row as us said: "I'm glad somebody told big gob to shut up", I apologised for having let one or two expletives slip out during my rant, to which she replied: "Oh don't worry about it, the man is a c*nt". Priceless!
In truth, there have been times, throughout this season, when Pederson hasn't exactly covered himself in glory, but he's hardly alone in that respect, now is he!? And there are far bigger culprits, both on and off the field of play, who are getting away lightly for some of their misdemeanours, compared to our Kristian.
If you're inclined to resort to outspoken invective (and I know I am), then it's the club hierarchy that really need a rocket up their collective arses. And though I know that it's an alien concept to some people nowadays, but I can remember when football supporters used to unsettle opposition players with a few choice words, not their own #Justsaying
Okay, I've gone around the houses to avoid mentioning it for long enough, WTAF happened next?
Buckle up, because it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Thirty-nine minutes and well on top with a two goal cushion. Time to keep it tight, don't let Coventry get back into it before the break, gee up the troops at half-time and send them out to finish the job off.
Simples? Right?
Err... apparently not :-O
"They're doing alright and making a supposedly good Coventry team look very average", mi' Julie told me. Keep watching Bab, you'll soon catch on to what everybody else present probably already suspected was about to happen.
In the aftermath of this debacle, Lee Bowyer said: "For us to freeze is unheard of, so we're disappointed. We were 2-0 up and coasting and then for some reason we thought it was easy and took our foot off the pedal."
Mr Bowyer also said: "We didn't have the professionalism to see out the half and manage the game. We were soft and leadership was short out there today."
Short? Or non-existent?
Much as I have a lot of time for the Blues manager, with all due respect, the freezing problem isn't unheard of at all... and please don't ask me to provide the evidence to back up such a statement, because I'll be here all bloomin' night.
This reversal was Blues nineteenth defeat of this very, very grim campaign; hence, pinpointing their lack of professionalism to see out games wasn't exactly a revelation, 'twas actually stating the bleedin' obvious.
A minute after racking up a two goal lead, the foundations of Blues game plan proved to be as poorly constructed as those beneath the lower tiers of the Kop and Tilton Road End, when Blues backline took on the guise of statues and bestowed the freedom of St. Andrew's and a right to roam upon Ben Sheaf, who took full advantage of his time and space privileges to smash and grab a brace of goals to restore parity before the break.
In the first instant, Gustavo Hamer's free-kick was nodded back across the six yard box by Michael Rose towards Sheaf, who had the simplest of tasks to poke the ball past Zach Jeacock from close range.
Almost inevitably 'Cov' equalised in stoppage time when Sheaf nodded in his second from inside an exclusion zone, when the home defence had obviously decided that social distancing is still en vogue.
Blues had thrown away a comfortable lead and though it was only the midway point of the afternoon, if either team was likely to claim the three points now, it wasn't going to be the generous and overly accommodating host side.
If Blues defending wasn't such a sick effing joke at times this term, it'd actually be bloody hilarious.
The visiting supporters were amusing themselves with ditties about the state of disrepair that St. Andrew's has fallen into.
Ooh the irony! It wasn't so long ago that their own down and out, homeless and struggling club, were dossing on the sofa here while they got their shit together.
Neil Etheridge, Blues first choice keeper was absent today, having suffered from concussion the previous week at Nottingham Forest, but I don't think his presence would've made the slightest difference today and you couldn't attach any blame onto young Jeacock, who was making his first appearance of the season behind the AWOL Birmingham defence.
Blues rallied slightly, albeit unconvincingly, but shocking defending was to prove their undoing again, when Rose smashed the ball past Jeacock from another Hamer corner, while the home players just stood around watching him.
Pedersen almost equalised, but directed another free header over the bar.
If truth be told, Coventry were fairly sub-standard at the back too, but Blues lacked the finesse and cutting edge to take advantage of the Sky Blues numerous lapses.
Right at the death, long after this game should have been put out of it's misery (AKA a mercy killing to spare the home fans any further suffering), Viktor Gyokeres had an effort blocked on the line, but the ball fell kindly to Callum O'Hare, who netted a fourth for Mark Robins' side.
"Is their a fire drill?", sang the jubilant away fans as the Blues faithful flooded out of the exits, though personally I'm surprised that more people hadn't already left ages ago already.
Maybe there was a fire drill and that is why all of the Birmingham players had disappeared pretty sharpish just after their second goal. Possibly they had gone on strike in the fortieth minute as a protest against the way the club is being run into the ground. But I strongly suspect that there is no fanciful explanation for why this collective of well paid professionals threw the game away from such a commanding position, the simple truth is, they just aren't good enough to have finished what they'd started. And Mark Robins well drilled side did a job on them.
FT: Birmingham City 2 v Coventry City 4
Credit where it is due though... having eventually turned up when they did, shortly before half-time, Coventry City deserved to win, even though there was a substantial chunk of the old adage that 'you can only beat what is in front of you' attached to their smash and grab triumph.
Arriving back at our city centre hotel twenty minutes after the final whistle, I took one last look at the panoramic view of St. Andrew's that our third floor room afforded us and closed the curtains on the scene, lest I should be reminded of this afternoon's events any more than was really necessary.
