Wednesday 14th October 2020
Toolstation NCEL Premier Division
at Olivers Mount, Handsworth
Handsworth FC (1) 2
Chad Gibson 4
Oscar Radford 84
Eccleshill United (1) 1
Jonathan Irving 90+3
Attendance: 135
It's silly season on that there otherworldly fantasy astronomical body called Planet Football, a curious outpost that you can see of a night-time through a relatively cheap Argos Star Finding Telescope, as it follows an orbital trajectory around a gathering of luminous spheroids that are collectively known as the Mammon Conurbation, because collectively they form the shape of a huge shining pound sign (other currencies are available).
What with 'Project Big Picture' and pay per view top flight games coming available at fifteen quid a chuck on TV channels that people have already been shelling out a substantial subscription fee to watch in the first place... more say, sway and interference in how the game is being run by the elite few (for the elite few) being toted as a move forward for the beautiful game, a shorter Premier League season on the horizon so that rich clubs can get even wealthier by playing in 'prestigious' overseas friendlies and expanded European competitions. You name it, anything and everything's got a price tag.
Surely, all of the above can all only benefit non-league football in the long run, as people refuse to be held to ransom and turn their backs on the gluttonously greedy clubs, in droves and look to find their football fix elsewhere, having been priced out, alienated, locked out and given a massive shove from the nest to eff off and 'encouraged' to fly solo, far far away from the franchises that their once beloved football teams have morphed into.
It's unforgivable that the most selfish cluster of clubs operating within the higher echelons of the game have swooped like vultures to cash in on the current state of limbo in football created by the worldwide pandemic crisis, but that kind of selfish behaviour (or business acumen as the perpetrators will no doubt call their actions) is exactly why the fat cats got so chubby in the first place, while scavenging the remaining meat from the carcasses of those who are almost down to the bare bones already.
But hey! If you have deep enough pockets and want to be subjected to a never-ending spiral of extortion, then that is your prerogative. Each to their own innit!? And when all is said and done there is no law against being completely gullible and stupid, so crack on if that's your sort of thing.
But tonight we chose to do something completely different instead and took a short trip up the Retford Road to Olivers Mount, on the periphery of Sheffield, where we parted with a mere pittance of five English pounds apiece to watch the Ambers of Handsworth take on the Eagles of Eccleshill United, who'd travelled down from the West Riding of Yorkshire, for a Toolstation NCEL Premier Division fixture, the prospect of which, as the fourteenth placed hosts lined up against their eighteenth placed visitors, almost made me leak a little bit of sex wee on the drive across.
Following the Ambers interesting and eventful staycation fourteen miles away along the A57 in the sprawling metropolis of Worksop, during which time they underwent a reformation, an amalgamation with Parramore Sports and several name changes, the club is now operating back on home turf at their traditional South Yorkshire hotbed for young talent, having headed back t'other way to Sheffield earlier this year.
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| Railway Enders on a rainy day in 2011 |
Obviously there have been a number of improvements made to the ground at Olivers Mount so that the hosts could preserve their standing as a NCEL Premier Division team. Tonight was the first opportunity that we'd had to get over and have a look around the place for ourselves. And we were very grateful to the Ambers chairman John Ward for taking the time out to give us a guided tour on our arrival tonight.
Our unanimous verdict; very impressed... and looking forward to seeing further progress on our return across the course of the season.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but this Handsworth lot weren't on that particular job.
The game was only four minutes old when, having already had two corners cleared away by a resolute looking Eagles defence, Handsworth took the lead after working the ball out wide to Chad Gibson on the left, who looked for all the world to have overhit his cross... but as Brad Emerson in the visitors goal seemed content to let the ball fly beyond his back stick, it floated in just beneath the crossbar and sneaked into the top corner of the goal. What a way to celebrate your promotion to the first team.
If Gibson had intended that to go in, then I reckon that Mikel Arteta, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, Jurgen Klopp and Zinedine Zidane ought to get themselves over to Olivers Mount next Tuesday night when the Ambers entertain Bottesford Town to check out the hosts young number eleven before he is snaffled up by one of the other big clubs.
The action switched to the other end and the Ambers centre-half Steve Wankiewicz was nudged in the back as he rose to head the ball away and he connected with his arm instead. A nailed on penalty all night long, but there was no small amount of conjecture as to whether 'Vank' deserved the straight red card that the match referee: Jamie Cogill brandished at him. I'm not one to namedrop, but a former Premier League and International ref, who I shall only call 'Uriah' to protect his identity, was stood nearby didn't think the offence warranted a sending off.
The Eccleshill captain Jonny Irving, struck the resulting spot-kick well, but Ben Townsend pulled off a great save and recovered quickly to thwart the visitors again from the rebound.
Minutes later Townsend was Irving's nemesis once again, when he advanced bravely from his line to claim the ball from the feet of the visitors number ten (who was actually wearing eighteen on the back of his shirt).
Luke Aldrich had a half chance to level the game up, but drilled his shot narrowly wide.
Then having absorbed a spell of pressure in their own half, Handsworth went on the offensive again.
Gibson, having found his range now, fancied his chances with a dipping shot from outside the area, but this time the ball sailed over the bar.
Bailey Hobson linked up with Gibson and Smith, the latter of who rolled the ball back towards Walton who's feirce strike was pushed away at the expense of a corner.
Richard Tootle's in-swinging flag kick found Walton, but the Ambers number ten glanced his header wide of the left hand post.
HT: Ambers 1 v Eagles 0
The start of the second half was slightly delayed when the referee forgot to bring the match ball back out with him. D'oh!
Smith must've been wondering if there was some kind of forcefield that was activated whenever he was around the Eccleshill goal, when he beat Emerson all ends up, only to see his rasping strike crash back off of the foot of the right hand upright.
Townsend, who my sidekicks both voted for as man of the match tonight, preserved the Ambers lead when he denied both Aldrich and Sumali Cissa with last ditch saves, while Danial Softley and that man Cissa (again) went close too.
Second half substitute Mohamed Aralee gave the visitors more width and options going forward and has a great first touch... he was also the best swearer on the pitch by a country mile. Just saying.
Smith managed to get his head to Walton's cross, despite having to lean to an acute angle, but his effort cleared the bar.
While there was still only one goal separating these two sides, it was still very much game on. But when Emerson inexplicably picked up a back pass (to calls of: "Send him off as well referee!") and Oscar Radford's deflected free kick zipped past the Eagles keeper, the end was in sight.
Especially when Townsend got down well to block and then hold onto Dominic Staunton's long range strike.
Leon Howarth was on as a substitute late in the game, but when he beat Emerson with an audacious chip from eighteen yards, the ball bounced back off of the crossbar.
Eccleshill's Alex Barnes clipped the top of the woodwork as the clock ticked past the ninety minute mark, but Jonathan Irving did grab a consolation goal for the visitors when he steered Sam Awty's cross into the net deep into stoppage time.
FT: Handsworth 2 v Eccleshill United 1
Both teams gave a good account of themselves tonight, in what was a very open and high tempo game.
The NCEL Premier Division resumes on Saturday, when Handsworth travel up to Thackley, while Eccleshill entertain Hemsworth Miners Welfare, at their Kingsway home in Wrose, to the north of Bradford.
