WELSH GROUNDHOP
AUGUST 2018 - Part 3
Part 1 of this thrill seeking travelogue and blog overview, featured the delights of :
Canton Liberal 2 v Grange Albion 1, in the South Wales Alliance League Premier Division, along with two Gwent County League Division 1 fixtures, namely: AC Pontymister 3 v Blaenavon Blues 2 and Rogerstone 1 v Newport Corinthians 2
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| The bus warriors brave themselves in readiness for the a whole day of battling against the elements that lay ahead |
And Part 2 covered a further two more Gwent County League Division 1 games: Villa Dino Christchurch 1 v Newport Civil Service 3 and Pill YMCA 0 v Lliswerry 2.
And now all but one of our remaining six matches were going to be South Wales Alliance fixtures, with the Monday morning post breakfast exception, being a Taff Ely & Rhymney Valley League Premier Division game.
Sunday 26th August 2016:
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| "It's only a bit of rain!" |
I bounced out of bed at silly o'clock, with all of the freshness and zeal of Tigger the Tiger's hyperactive son, and confident that there would be nobody else around at such an unearthly hour, opened the blind on my ground floor accommodation window to check if the rain that had been threatening to put a damper on our day had actually arrived or not.
Sadly it had already started... and I can only apologise to those of you who'd nipped outside for an early morning fag, for exposing you all to the hideous sight of my full frontal nudity.
I guess you'll all know the whereabouts of my Vale United tattoo now... it's a big one isn't it!?
The coaches left at 8.15AM and headed for the nearby Upper Boat Inn, where we all gathered for breakfast in a morning during our stay (all included in the price) and by 9.30AM(ish) we were on our way to Corntown on the fringes of Bridgend, to the home of Yale United, whose ground is dubbed the 'Corntown Carpet' because of it's immaculate playing surface.
Highadmit South Wales Alliance Division 2
Vale United (3) 7
Ollie Waagenes 10, 35, Alex Gregory 33,
Philip Caseley 74, Lewis Richards 83, 86,
Dan Hanson 90
STM Sports Old Boys (0) 1
Rob Partridge Pen 48
Attendance 165
A warm and friendly welcome awaited us at our first port of call of the day, where the host club had obviously pulled out all the stops to make a big deal of hosting a game for the influx bus spotters, beer tickers and cheese rangers, who were descending upon their pavilion this morning, looking like a cross from a Millets outdoor clothing sale supplement and a scene out of 'Dawn of the Dead'.
A special edition 'Groundhop Pale' bottled ale had been produced to mark the occasion.
After the game Vale United have tweeted that they have a few bottles of this limited edition brew, plus badges and programmes remaining, so if you're interested in getting hold of any of these things, contact the club directly via: @ValeUnitedFC
Once upon a time, I gave a local footballer from Corntown, a lift to Field Mill, the home of Mansfield Town (who also have a Stags head on their badge), his name is: Rhys Day. I'll spare you all of the details of how he came to be in my car, but Rhys (brother of the professional snooker player Ryan Day), played on loan twice and on subsequent permanent deals twice, for the Nottinghamshire based Stags, where he won the supporters player of the year in 2004, during a career that saw him capped at U19 and U21 level by Wales. He was also picked for the Welsh first team squad once, but never actually got off of the bench to gain full honours. Rhys was playing junior football in Corntown when he was recommended to Manchester City by one of their scouting network and he subsequently starting his professional playing career at Maine Road. So now you know!
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| Vale United have a twenty three inch tall man to write the team line ups on their whiteboard. That's handy! |
Once again, all of my goal times are approximate. I did try to scrawl down a few notes, but the pages of my notebook were soaked and stuck together worse than a centrefold in the middle of a thirteen year old lads first porno magazine, so bear with me if one or two inaccuracies and discrepancies have crept in to my 'just about' accurate overview of proceedings.
The players took to the pitch in front of a rain decimated attendance of 165, you had to feel a bit sorry for the Corntown club that the summer climate was 'lashing' down on their moment in the limelight, after they had put on a hog roast and piles of food all tastefully decorated with edible stags head crests.
The Stags took a tenth minute lead, when Ollie Waagenes made light work of both the weather and a mistimed challenge to cut inside the visitors area and slotted the ball past Matt Fair to find the bottom corner of the net.
And it was 2-0 to the hosts in the thirty third minute, when Alex Gregory got onto the end of Mlingaye Simbanda to head the ball firmly into the back of the net.
By now I was actually watching the game in a dry(ish) shelter, because of my 'singing in the rain' march around the pitch early in the game, I'd happened upon what looked like either a kids den or a bears house, in the bushes at the far end from the clubhouse.
And after a bit of trim, it made for a great vantage point.
I don't believe that I was the only person with a set of hedge pruning shears in my rucksack... and if I am: just what sort of crap are you all lugging around in yours!?
Two minutes after Gregory had given the Vale a two goal lead, Ryan Jenkins rolled a sideways pass into the path of Waagenes, who crashed the ball past Fair via the underside of the crossbar.
A couple of passers by looked surprised to hear chants of "Easy! Easy!" and "Come on you Stags!" resonating from within the bushes, but bugger the weather, I'm on loads of prescribed medicines at the moment that are keeping my spirits up no end and keeping me alive, as well as giving me a few embarrassing involuntary erections when I'm out doing a weekly shop with my missus (that is to say, embarrassing for her, at my age I'm quite chuffed about this turn of events)... and anyway I'm in Wales to party!
I had a moment of compassionate solidarity when I spotted a fellow traveller getting soaked to the skin in a nearby corner, so I beckoned him across and gave up my pitch so that he could use it.
Personally, I was so pilled up that I was numb to the cold,oblivious to the wet stuff (for now least-ways) and in need of sustenance, while he looked drenched and in dire need of some respite from the weather. So if anyone got home on Monday night and they're a man down, I can probably vouch for his whereabouts... unless of course, the bear came back and was annoyed about it's new open plan domestic arrangements.
Through a slight crack in the sea of umbrellas, I spotted that 'Sports' had been awarded a penalty right at the start of the second half, that Rob Partridge dispatched past Gerwyn Teague without any fuss... and just maybe the visitors were on their way back to get something out of this game.
They certainly didn't deserve to be on the end of thrashing given their efforts today, particularly as the weather had by now gone up on the Richter scale from ugly to effing hideous.
But onto day's showing, when these Stags get the bit between the teeth and up the ante, they hang onto it very tightly and the 'Old Boys' were washed away in a four goal flood in the final sixteen minutes.
With legs akimbo all over the place in the visitors six yard box, Phil Caseley finally got a decisive touch after the Stags went close twice during the scrum, to make it 4-1.
A misplaced kick by 'Sports' keeper, set up Lewis Richards with a simple chance to score another on eighty three minutes and he netted again, immediately, or thereabouts, from the restart from which the visitors lost possession almost straight away.
In the last minute Dan Hanson had an opportunity to make it 7-1 saved, but made no mistake with a similar chance as the game went into stoppage time.
FT: Vale United 7 (Seven) v STM Sports Old Boys 1
A decent game all told, in nigh on impossible conditions.
J'salute everybody, both on and off the pitch, who stuck it out for the whole game today... and even those of you who gave up and took shelter in the clubhouse.
So with our wet pants, socks and the whole bloody lot, we bid farewell to our friendly hosts, paddled back towards out transport... and headed, I kid you not... to the seaside!
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| The boats on Porthcawl Promenade. Some other time maybe! |
At least there was some covered standing at Porthcawl's Lock Lane ground, which stands within the boundary of the same sporting facility where their old ground used to be.
Typically, the wind that was whipping up was blowing straight into the stand and, of course, carrying a whole load of unpleasant precipitation with it.
Thankfully the downpour (deluge?) of rain stopped
around half time, and though the wind continued to pick up, at least it helped us all to dry off, as the assembled rank and file stood dotted around the perimeter fence, resemblin long lines of cagoules on big public washing line. Incidentally, until my Google spellchecker just rudely interrupted me, I had always thought these lightweight water-resistant (but seldom water-proof) jackets were called kagouls. But I was wrong (as per usual), though I discovered that: cagoul, kagoule or kagool are acceptable variants. Blimey, getting out and about in Wales this weekend isn't half proving to be an education for me.
Locks Lane, Porthcawl - 2.00pm
Highadmit South Wales Alliance Division 1
Porthcawl Town (3) 4
Rob Davis 8, Jorge Crofts 19,
Sam Comley 22, Andy Fisher 90+2
Cornelly United (0) 0
Attendance 234
Word had gone around that the last two games of the day, were now kicking off at 2.00PM and 5.00PM instead of the originally publicised times of 2.30PM and 5.30PM, but evidently a good few people hadn't heard the news and this caused a good few of them to miss the opening exchanges of this well contested game.
To be honest, if the weather was't so shite today, I would probably have gone down the seafront and missed the start too, because in spite of me having been born in one of the most landlocked places in the whole of the British Isles; for whatever reason, I have a pair of seas legs and prefer traditional British seaside towns to just about anywhere else in the world. I do like to be beside the seaside! But not today and I stayed in the clubhouse until the players were emerging onto the pitch.
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| The welcome lettering isn't actually faded, that is my wet phone camera creating it's own special effects |
Upon entering the ground, I had to double check that my ever increasing medication wasn't causing me to hallucinate, but two young police officers (they're all young to me these days) confirmed my sighting of an ice cream van, situated right next to the entry to the ground. Hang on a minute... police officers? At Porthcawl Town v Cornelly United? Maybe I was imagining things after all.
But due to the force eight icy blast and heavy rain, I never actually saw anybody tucking into a 99 or even a Funny Face lolly.
Mind you, there were plenty of other funny faces about.
Joseph Jones almost opened the scoring for Porthcawl from their first attack, when he rattled the post inside the opening two minutes.
But the home side didn't have to wait long to grab the lead, when Rob Davis broke free on the right hand side of the area and fired an angled shot, across the face of Luke Jones, that settled just inside the far post.
The Seasiders lead was doubled by Jorge Crofts in the nineteenth minute, when he met Adam Jones right wing cross just inside the visitors area and hooked the ball into the top left corner of (L) Jones' net.
Please note all of you attention to detail pedantic types... his name is Jorge, not George!
If all of these Jones boys names are confusing you, I better clarify the situation, the ball was crossed by Adam Jones the Porthcawl number two, not their goalkeeper who is called Arron Jones.
(J) Jones went close again, when he tried to repeat Davis' goal, but he nudged the ball just wide of the left hand post after running forward well into the right channel.
Andrew Emery worked the ball forward well and Sam Comley cracked off a great strike past (L) Jones to give the home side a commanding lead, which they carried into the half time break...
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| Sea air + booze + a comfy chair in a warm room = zzzzzzz |
Once more, another sentence begins with (J) Joes nearly scoring, but his attempted lob over (L) Jones held up in the wind and the visitors keeper was able to tip the ball over the bar as a consequence.
Cornelly were still trying to make a game of it, but they needed to start pegging Porthcawl's lead back son and as the clock ticked down, Arran Jeffries put a low shot from the right hand side of the area just wide of the target.
The home side missed a couple of chances to wrap the game up once and for all, firstly when (L) Jones scuffed an attempted clearance into the path of George, who blazed his effort wide of an open goal.
And then guess what happened!? Our new found cult hero (J) Jones squared up to shoot after a right wing cross by Rob Davis glanced off of Gavin Flowers and into his path... and he was inches away from scoring yet again.
I was recently listening to Michael Owen, who was being interviewed on the radio when I was driving home from work; and he said that actually scoring goals is only a small part, percentages wise, of a forward player's job and that the main bulk of it is more about making all of the right runs and finding space to create chances when you given your teammates an option to give you the ball, so Mr Joseph Jones, if such a proven striker swears by it, you carry on doing just what it is you do... and the goals will come.
Two minutes into stoppage time, Laurie Varrall stroked the ball forward, into the path of Andy Fisher, who scored from twelve yards out, to make the full time score:
Porthcawl Town 4 v Cornelly United 0
Discussing the game at Lock Lane on the coach towards Llangeinor, it seems that some people agreed with my point of view, that Porthcawl had been good value for their deserved win, while others obviously saw something in the opposition that I must have missed and thought that their efforts warranted a draw. It's all about opinions innit!?
To quote the great philosopher John Joseph Lydon... "I could be wrong. I could be right"
Before we arrived at our last ground of the day, I drew some envious glances from a few of my fellow travellers, when I pulled some warm and dry socks, a back up pair of shoes and a towel from my bag. Trench-foot and pneumonia are two of a very shortlist of ailments that I'm not suffering from at present, so it pays to be on the safe side.
Upon alighting from the the coach, I spotted a photo opportunity on the far side of the ground, whereby I could
capture a picture (see above) of the small (but perfectly formed) stand, that needs a lickof new paint, with the nearby houses on a steep incline in the background, while it was still light enough to use my cheap (waterlogged) camera. I took a step forward onto the grass off of the footpath and SPLUSH! 'twas almost a bloody marsh land bog that I had strayed into and my feet were now far wetter and muddier than they had been at any point during the day... and as it happens, it wasn't even a very good picture either.
Never mind... at least some people saw the funny side and had a good old belly laugh about it.
Llangeinor Park - 5.00pm
Highadmit South Wales Alliance Division 2
Llangeinor (2) 4
Simon Lock 38, 73 Pen, Callum Evans 45+,
Jack Laidler 85
AFC Wattstown (0) 2
Adam Fisher 52, Grant Huggins 64
Attendance 130
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| They have all actually got feet, it's just that the grass was a bit long |
Initially Wattstown looked to be the team most likely to break this evenings deadlock, as they took the game to the hosts but somehow just couldn't seem to add an end product to all of the work that they were putting in, in and around the Llangeinor area, as the home keeper dealt with anything that came his way.
Steven Vaughan served up a chance on a plate, for Grant Huggins who couldn't miss, but somehow managed to from close range, prompting the photographer Martin Bamforth, who I watched quite a lot of the action this weekend with, to quip that this one had nil-nil written all over it.
Moments later, and very much against the run of play; Simon Lock scored for the home side, reaching the ball first as a person unknown's shot came back off of the post towards him. I have the player who had the initial shot's number noted down, but there doesn't appear to be a number fifteen
And in first half stoppage time, Callum Evans finished off a solo run with a decent strike, to double Llangeinor's advantage before the interval. Remind me never to 'cash out' on Mr Bamforth's advice.
So f*** the weather, we're here for the football, so let's be getting on with it.
This was turning out to be a half decent contest now and there were still a few twists and turns to negotiate before the matter was settled.
Ceryn Harris fouled Evans inside the Wattstown area and Lock made no mistake from the resulting spot kick to put Llangeinor back in front, and as the game went into it's final five minutes, Lock smashed a shot against the upright that ricocheted towards Jack Laidler, who knocked the ball past Eliot Thomas to clinch a home win.
FT: Llangeinor 4 v Wattstown 2
There will be a fourth chapter of this 'hop' narration... that will cover the final three games out of the total of eleven, that are being played on Monday... before I travel 'oop north overnight, in preparation for my 5AM alarm call for work on Tuesday morning.
Urgh! That bit already sounds like fun (not) already.
