Yorkshire Main 5 v Doncaster Deaf Trust 4 - Doncaster Senior League Div 1

Saturday 21st May 2016
Doncaster & District FA Senior League, Division 1
at Edlington Road
Yorkshire Main (3) 5
Aaron Harrison 13, Adam Butler 25
Danny Bell 33, Dean Platts 51, 62
Doncaster Deaf (0) 4
Sykes 70,
Gareth Denmead 83, 84
Ash Hunter 88

Thanks to Marc Smith of Yorkshire Main FC for kindly writing me out a copy of their team sheet.
Ta also to the Donny Deaf Trust manager (apologies I didn't catch your name) for scribbling me a list of his players down too, that I managed to work out and amend once the game got going.
My plan today was to take in this Donacster Senior League game, then drive the short distance to watch the 6.30pm kick off between Donny Belles v Arsenal Ladies.
Alas, upon arrival at the Keepmoat Stadium, as I took my seat and skimmed through the programme, the heavens opened and it rained so bad, that the pitch flooded in places and the game was postponed about ten minutes before it's scheduled kick off time.

Oh well, it was a damn inconvenience, but at least it afforded me the opportunity to get home and catch up with this weeks episodes of Hollyoaks that I had recorded... and wow! What a dramatic seven days it has been on the only TV soap opera that is worth watching, since Brookside vanished from our screens.
Elsewhere, it's FA Cup Final day and once upon a time, I would sit glued to the telly all day (except for when I actually attended several Wembley finals), feasting on Cup Final Multi-Coloured Swap Shop, Grandstand and World of Sport, while flicking between channels (which in those days meant actually getting up and walking over to the television to press a button) to peruse all of the latest news, interviews and pre-match build up, "Ooh, just look at the Southampton captain Peter Rodrigues enjoying a plate full of Marmite soldiers, before he leads his own troops into battle as the the Saints go marching in"

Later in the day, after Bobby Stokes had scored the only goal of the game as the second division side beat Tommy Docherty's Manchester United, Rodriques himself said ""Our bus hit a spectator on our way to Wembley and everybody was very concerned as we went into the dressing room,
"Lawrie quickly went back to check on this guy who was hit, he had just stumbled off the kerb and the boss came back and reassured us that he was all right, then we began our preparations"
You just don't get the same kind of intimacy any more... nor players like Rodriques and Stokes, which is why, I think, that so many people cling on to the non-league game like some kind of security blanket for the over forties.
Cup Final Day, was the one Saturday of the year, when I didn't sulk if I couldn't watch the wrestling, compered by Kent Walton, which actually became crap when Big Daddy split from his tag partner in crime Giant Haystacks, stopped being an 'orrible baddy and marketed himself as a good guy and housewives choice instead.

To this day, I can still never find anything nice to say about Mick McManus... and it didn't surprise me a few years back, possibly even a whole decade ago, that a friend of mine who worked in a old folks home in Knaresborough, complained that McManus was a complete bastard to all of his appointed carers.

My grandmother's favourite wrestler was Jackie 'TV' Pallo, but she also listened to Liberace a lot, so there is no accounting for taste.
I genuinely hope it wasn't all stage manged back then, like it is nowadays and that Pallo actually suffered no small amount of pain and distress when Johnny Kwango headbutted him.
Ah, nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
But I'm going off on one, again, this is a football related blog, not a wrestling fanboy's cathartic diary, although Yorkshire Main's Ricky Caldwell seemingly struggles to make the distinction between association rules and the grappling code... and as for the FA Cup circa 2016; well to be perfectly honest, I can barely raise a flicker of interest for the greatest cup competition in world any more, once it reaches the later rounds.
Of course, the Scottish Cup Final was being shown live and theirs still kicks off at the traditional time of 3pm. But Hibs v Rangers? Really!
You'd have to be desperate for a low grade fix of football to watch that shit.

Yorkshire Main:
Steve Smith, Ricky Caldwell, Grant Johnson, Lee Bell, Marc Smith, Dean Platts, Aiden Ford, Zak Boiston, Aaron Harrison, Danny Bell, Adam Butler
Subs - Dan Buzza, Jason Blackburn
Doncaster Deaf Trust;
John Atkinson, Paul Allen, Seon Anderson, Jan Cresswell, Gareth Denmead, Daniel Holdsworth, Ashley Hunter, Mark Sinclair, Taljinder Singh, Darrell Sykes, Peter Wood
No subs

It saddens me to see Yorkshire Main languishing in the Doncaster and District League Division One (not even the Premier Division), such a short time after they were one of the most forward looking and successful local grassroots clubs in the area.
Their games were well attended and they attracted some of the most colourful characters you could possibly ever imagine when they were strutting their stuff in the upper reaches of the Central Midlands League.
Alas, if this afternoon is anything to go by, even the dozen or so harmless binge drinking pot-heads who used to congregate on the uncovered bank of terrace opposite the entrance to the ground have deserted their post and taken their witty banter and 'blissed out' demeanour elsewhere.

Edlington Road, a ground that used to stage local cup finals under the lights, is still potentially a cracking little arena, if only somebody had the time and money to invest in a very modest amount of TLC into a bit of maintenance; but the place has a neglected aura akin to the land that time forgot.
Rumour has it that the club will struggle to carry on after this season, if they can't get a few more people on board... and to me that would be criminal, given the prime location and setting of Yorkshire Main FC and it's adjacent Cricket club and Welfare bar. Locals take note, use it or lose it n' all that.
But anyway, after such a lengthy introduction, lets (finally) get down to the nitty gritty of this afternoon's nine goal thriller.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: a warts and all account of life in the First Division of the Donny League.

It would be fair to say that the home side completely dominated the first hour or so of the game and were good value for the 5-0 lead they had cruised into by that time.
In actual fact, the only surprising aspect of the first half, was that it took the Edlington based side a whole 13 minutes before Aaron Harrison opened the scoring after some good work from Ricky Caldwell who carried the ball from right to left across of the Deaf defence before slotting the ball towards the goal with a thumping left foot shot, that Aaron Harrison helped over the line so it wouldn't get held up in the grass, which didn't look as if it had seen a mower this side of Xmas.
Adam Butler doubled Main's lead with a well taken angled shot after 25 minutes and shortly afterwards Danny Bell added a third when Dan Buzza squeezed the ball through to put him through in a one against one shootout with John Atkinson, the visitors goalkeeper.
Just before the break Butler had two further opportunities, but was thwarted by Atkinson twice, the first was a good save, the second was a blatant handball outside the area... but the referee had a neck tattoo, so nobody argued the toss with him.
HT: Yorkshire Main 3 v Doncaster Deaf 0

The visitors were on the back foot again straight after the restart, when Dean Platts broke clear but shot high and wide of the goal, while Aiden Ford was denied Seon Anderson's clearance off of the line, but 6 minutes after the interval Platts sneaked the ball in at the near post from an improbable tight angle to the left hand side of Doncaster's goal... and the game looked to be effectively over.
But having had a free kick decision go against him in the middle of the pitch, Caldwell became so animated, angry and abusive towards the referee, that he was booked. But that didn't calm his tantrum down at all and he began to aim even more vitriol at the referee, while wrestling with his team mates who were dragging him away and trying to calm the situation down. Caldwell was dismissed, but after getting dressed came out of the changing room and continued with his 'potty mouthed' tantrum at his team mates, from behind a mesh fence. Almost universally they called back at him to "***k off home and don't come back!" and I never saw the fiery red head after that again. Seriously, it is a shame that he is prone to this kind of thing, because he ain't half bad at playing in the right back berth.

L to R: Ricky Caldwell, Ash Hunter

Once normality, after a fashion, was restored, Ford and Butler combined down the left for the home side and Platts made it 5-0 with a superb fish from just outside the left hand edge of the penalty area,
With 20 minutes remaining Pete Wood drilled a right wing cross into the Yorkshire Main six yard box and Darrel Sykes finished from close range to pull a goal back.
Zak Boiston set Ford up for what should've been his sides sixth goal but Atkinson saved and Butler placed a shot narrowly wide as the clock ticked down and a comfortable home win seemed to be inevitable.
But with Mark Sinclair directing his side (and abusing me with sign language on the touchline because he thought I was involved with Yorkshire Main in some capacity... I'll assume he understood my rudimentary hand gesture reply), Gareth Denmead tipped the game on it's head when he scored twice for Doncaster inside the space of a minute and came very close to claiming his hat trick, when he headed wide from Jan Creswell's in swinging cross.

Inside the last two minutes Ash Hunter muscled his way into the area and beat Steve Smith from ten yards.
5-0 to 5-4 and still two minutes plus stoppage time to go. Those of you who deride the standard of this league really don't understand the level of entertainment that you are missing.
A ground hopper from Wealdstone, who'd travelled up to watch the same two games as me today, was certainly enjoying himself (and when the next game on the menu was called off so late in the day, my disappointment was tempered somewhat by the fact that he'd had such an arduous semi-wasted journey, while I was only twenty minutes from home), but Yorkshire Main held on by the skin of their teeth to a win that had 'dead cert' written all over it until the closing twenty minutes, when they went AWOL.
FT: Yorkshire Main 5 v Doncaster Deaf 4
It has to be said, that one way or another, it is never anything but entertaining at Yorkshire Main.
Hopefully they'll still be around in some shape or form next season.