Saturday, 10 December 2011

Scunthorpe United 1 v Carlisle United 2 - npower League 1 (AKA Division 3)

Saturday 10th December 2011, at Glanford Park
npower League 1
Scunthorpe United (1) 1
Andy Barcham 3
Carlisle United (0) 2
James Berrett 64, Francois Zoko 90+
Admission £10 (standing or seating), Programme £3
Attendance 3.624
Scunthorpe United:
Johnstone, Wright, Canavan, Shane Duffy, Nolan, Mark Duffy (Ryan 68), Togwell, O'Connor, Barcham, Thompson, Grant.
Unused Subs: Slocombe, Dagnall, Robertson, Palmer.Carlisle United:
Collin, Ribeiro, Michalik, Murphy, Robson, Noble, Thirlwell, Berrett, McGovern, Miller, Loy (Zoko 74).
Unused Subs: Gillespie, Livesey, Madden, Taiwo.There are probably worse things you could do at 2.50 on a Saturday afternoon, than dress up as a large lop eared rabbit called 'Scunny Bunny' and dance to 'Hi ho silver lining' all by yourself in the middle of a football pitch ... but right now, I can't think of a single one.
Without wanting to go all Sigmund Freud on you ... this afternoon Scunthorpe United suffered from a footballing equivalent of premature ejaculation.
They peaked too soon and when there was a need for some extra penetration and a few more thrusts, to take the game all the way towards a rewarding and satisfactory conclusion, they were found wanting.'Scunny' were all fingers and thumbs, whilst their Cumbrian visitors paced themselves and reached a spectacular nadir at precisely the right time.
Carlisle United's technique, delivery and prolonged pounding of the Iron's box, was triple X rated, well hung porn star class.
Welcome to 'Gland'ford Park!
Oh well, that ought to boost the66pow's ratings when people type certain phrases into their search engines when they're feeling lonesome tonight.
Welcome to Sunny Scunny

Anyway, enough of this smut.
Scunthorpe United can count three ex England captains amongst their former players.
I'll give you Kevin Keegan and Ray Clemence, but can you guess who the third one is?
There is a picture clue subtly and discreetly planted somewhere on this blog post for anyone who needs a bit of a helpful prompt.
Feel free to send me your answers on a postcard if you wish, but there are no prizes, it's just for fun.
I'll spare you all the boring gubbins about how I ended up being over the Trent in North Lincolnshire this afternoon, but £10 for a game in the Third Division of the Football League appeared, on the face of it, to be an absolute bargain ... and this sucker couldn't resist.
Inside four minutes the Iron were in front when Garry Thompson put an slide rule pass into the path of Andy Barcham, who curled the ball around the flat footed Carlisle keeper Andy Collin and his defence to score a cracking goal.
Andy Collin 'flat footed', the ball is that faint blur just to the left of step G

Within a minute of 'Scunny' going in front, Lee Miller had hit the post at the other end.
Then a couple of comedy caper escapades from the home side's defence, saw them fortunate not to concede a couple of own goals in quick succession, with the post coming to their rescue again on one occasion as Shane Duffy miscued a clearance.
Garry Thomson squandered a one on one against Andy Collin, hitting the ball straight at the Carlisle keeper's legs, but play switched back towards the terraced end of Glanford Park and Pete Murphy smashed an effort against the cross bar.
Despite the end to end opening spell, Scunthorpe lost their way a bit for the remainder of the first half and wilted a bit, while the visitors went from strength to strength, pushing and probing for an equaliser.
But half time came and went and more by luck then design, Alan Knill's side were still hanging on to their single goal advantage.
Eventually (and inevitably) Carlisle equalised on 64 minutes (though it had been on the cards for the last hour), when James Berrett added the finishing touch to a chance created by a Lee Miller flick on.
Of course, the former Hearts (and several other far lesser clubs) striker Lee Miller, used to be on the books of Scunthorpe United ... and it is actually the law that ex strikers always play well and/or score against their former clubs.
Miller certainly bust a gut to put the Iron to the sword today.Ironically, Berrett's goal put a bit of lead back into Scunthorpe's pencil and they perked up a bit when Jimmy Ryan came on as substitute ... but not quite enough to get them past the heavy petting stage and back into the glory hole.
But, it looked as though they had done enough to salvage an unlikely draw, having weathered a proper going over from the Cumbrians for sustained periods, especially in the first half.
Jimmy Ryan and Sam Togwell could've both snatched all three points for the Glanford Park side, but Ryan's shot was narrowly wide and Togwell's effort from eight yards out is probably still orbiting the circumference of planet earth right now it was so off target.
Carlisle threw their battering ram, that is Francois Zoko, on for the last few minutes ... the fluffers had done their bit, but now, for the grand finale, or climax if you've got a dirty mind, it was time to break out the big gun.
Lee Miller (who else) spotted Zoko's run and floated the ball over the Scunthorpe defence into the path of the former Ivory Coast Under 23 attacking midfielder (that Wikipedia is a mine of information) and he clipped the ball neatly over Sam Johnstone to score the winning goal deep into injury time.
Best programme I've seen anywhere this season

The home fans were gutted to have lost so late in the game, who wouldn't have been?
But on the balance of play and chances created, Carlisle United should have had this one wrapped up by half time anyway.
There are no pictures of Carlisle's goals, because just before the hour mark a steward very politely approached me and requested that I should stop taking photograph's because it was against the ground rules.
I s'pose the guy was only doing his job and wasn't his fault ... the git!
Worksop Town progressed into the 2nd round of the FA Trophy by beating Tamworth 1-0 at Sandy Lane, a result that made me smile, given a few incidents I won't incriminate myself by repeating here, that occurred the last time those two sides met.
Frickley Athletic were beaten at home by Bradford (Park Avenue), I'm truly saddened to hear about that Mr Shorts and MM ;-(
And Droylsden knocked Mansfield Town out the FA Trophy, FFFFS!Footnote:
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, the visit to Glanford Park today marked my 100th game of the season.
I've obviously got too much time on my hands.