Thursday, 6 January 2011

The trouble with all seater grounds ...

... is you can't guarantee that you won't get stuck having to sit next to a humongous lump, just like this shocking example of morbid obesity and gluttony.
I think I may well have actually met the female pictured here below, or could at least point you in the direction of a complete dead-ringer ... if such mounds of flabby excess float your boat instead of sinking your battleship.
The lady in question might have a lovely personality and a killer smile to offset her lack of aesthetic appeal, but I seriously doubt it.
She's probably just as miserable and hideous on the inside as she is out ... and prone to tantrums if anybody has the audacity to interrupt her relentless binge eating regime.

Preserve at all costs your right to roam and stand safely at football grounds.

The trouble with the internet ...
Beware the perils of adding people as friends on Facebook, MySpace, DesperateFlirt etc. who you don't actually know, on the flimsy premise that they have mutual interests and/or associates.
That massively rescaled, edited and slightly tantalising upper cleavage head and shoulders shot she uses as a profile picture on social networks and dating websites could actually be hiding a multitude of sins.

Stay safe and secure ... and always take a friend, adult, stun gun and very fast escape vehicle with you when meeting up with people who you have befriended on line.

This blog is actually written by a strapping six foot eight inches tall Adonis type character with all his own hair and teeth, who has £9,000,000,007 in a Swiss bank account, owns several luxury penthouses in Malibu, Miami, Palm Springs, Ibiza, St. Tropez, Kirkby in Ashfield and Consett, a fleet of chauffeur driven classic cars, a Matalan card and an original vinyl copy of 'The Cravats - In Toytown' LP ... and who has recently successfully undergone a penis size reduction operation, whereby he had 3 inches removed to make his manhood a more manageable mere 12 inches long.
But enough about me, take care when using the worldwide web ... and don't believe everything you see and read on the internet is true.