I'm in the grip of three different illnesses and ailments at present, none of which is especially minor or painless, but it is the season to be jolly n' all that, so I won't bore you all with any of the gory details because nobody will give a chuff anyway.
Don't come to me looking for sympathy when you're ill though - what goes around, comes around ... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!
I was hoping to get wrapped up, make myself a hot flask of Lemsip* and honey and get out for some medicinal fresh air over the next few days, but I don't foresee many football watching opportunities on the near horizon because of the winter freeze ... so what's a man to do?
I guess I could watch the Father Ted DVD box set I got has a gift earlier today, I know it's very amusing and highly entertaining, just like it was last year and the one before that.
Hmm, getting the same present 3 years in a row is unfortunate. I'm not sure quite what to call it when the same person bought me it twice though ... I won't say who he was, but don't get me a Father Ted DVD box set for Father's Day next year as well Sam, I already have several and you've spent more than enough money already.
Or, at a push, I could bathe in this stuff that says 'LYNX FOR MEN' on the box, but having had a quick sniff at the contents of the bottles, I'd probably better not, just in case there are any female walruses within a 10 mile radius who are in season.
I'll try 'owt once but I'm too lethargic and fatigued through illness to do bestiality any justice ... just as well I'm having to sleep on my own at the moment to prevent the spread of germs then, isn't it my love!?
All the Sunday 26th December games I was hopeful would be going ahead at Mansfield, Gainsborough, Darlington, York and Hallam are off ... and I suspect my planned 'Boxing Day Double' on the 27th of Maltby Main v. Dinnington Town at noon, followed by a.n.other game that is an hours drive from Muglet Lane (I have a quite extensive 'short' list prepared) is probably already a non starter.
But just on the off chance, 27th December games with a 3pm kick off include:
Hucknall Town v Worksop Town - Evo Stik Premier
Retford United v Chasetown - Evo Stik Premier
Goole AFC v Brigg Town - Evo Stik South
Staveley MW v Handsworth - NCEL
Worsborough Bridge Athletic v Leeds Carnegie - NCEL
Back up plan 1pm kick offs include
Armthorpe Welfare v Parkgate - NCEL
Rossington Main v Brodsworth Welfare - NCEL
Teversal v Shirebrook Town - NCEL
There are a plethora of further options and alternatives besides these that I haven't posted at this juncture, which will no doubt all have the word POSTPONED posted alongside them in block capitals on various league websites by Monday lunchtime.
On the 28th, I'm hoping Newmarket Road in Cambridge has been getting plenty of winter sun ... and that with a bit of luck my annual Cambridge United v Mansfield Town traditional outing will be getting the go ahead.
But mustering even a sand sized grain of optimism for an impending return to football action and a cessation of this horrible bloody weather seems like a fairly futile exercise to me.
Happy Xmas - be grateful it's all nearly over :-)
* It isn't real Lemsip, it's Morrisons own brand hot lemon drink, have you seen the price of the proper stuff!?