Friday, 29 January 2010

Voyage of Discovery

Things I found out en route from Retford to Edinburgh via the A1 today.

1. Morrisons own brand 'energy boost' drinks may well be cheap, but they taste the same as Germolene smells.
2. Shrimps have their hearts in their heads.
Source: Factoids, Steve Wright in the afternoon, Radio Two.
3. Between Newcastle and Alnwick on the northbound A1 there are at least 3 pot holes the size of coffins that you can't see until you hit them with a resounding thud.
4. Csaba Laszlo has been sacked as manager of Hearts
Source: 17 text messages. I had to pull over into a lay by to check out what all the fuss was about, it is both illegal and unsafe to use a mobile phone whilst driving at (approx) 70MPH
5. Jim Jefferies, Hearts manager when they won the Scottish Cup in 1998 and a former HMFC player, is back in the Tynecastle hot seat.
I'm cautiously optimistic about this news and VERY grateful that 'young' Mr Malofeev wasn't given the post in a caretaker capacity.
6. For just £2, Morrisons do an extremely tasty pork pie and pickle sandwich (pastry included) that will (just about) sustain even the largest of appetites throughout a 252 mile car journey.
7. The Edinburgh 'Evening' News is published before important afternoon announcements have been made, there must be a few red faces in their sports department right now, given that tonight's Hearts stories all revolve around Csaba Laszlo's pre match speel in advance of tomorrow's away game v. St. Johnstone.
8. Simon Mayo might have secret precognitive powers and can possibly predict/pre-empt the future through his record selection process on Radio Two's drive time slot.
Why else would he play Queen's "We Are The Champions" moments after I discovered that Hearts had re-appointed JJ as their manager?
Who said the art of sarcasm disguised as irony was dead?
9. (See 8) Long car journies via the northbound A1, can make you lose all sense of proportion and seriously impare your grasp of reality around tea time, especially if you haven't had a proper meal or more than a couple of mouthfuls of disgusting fizzy liquid to drink all day.
10. It is better to travel in hope than to have been stuck in Retford all day because your alternator belt is shagged.
Thank you G.C. Motors, Canalside Workshops, Leverton Road, Retford, you did me proud today ;-)