Horncastle Town 5 v CGB Humbertherm 0 - Lincs League

Saturday 21st October 2017
Balcan Lighting Supplies Lincolnshire Football League
at the Wong
Horncastle Towm (2) 5
Chris Johnson 19
Ben Fidling 32
Michael Harness 46
Liam Papworth 54
Ben Morley 71
CGB Humbertherm (0) 0
Admission free. Attendance 82
Point & hope photo gallery: CLICK HERE

Horncastle Town were founded in 1873, some one hundred and twenty years prior to the formation of their visitors for the afternoon: CGB Humbertherm, who play their home games at Fulstow (near Louth).
The county of Lincolnshire is, give or take a bit, just over ninety miles long... and I'm led to believe, that if you scientifically worked it out, using a compass, protractor, some long division and a multi tentacled Algebraic equation formula; the very epicentre of the 2,687 square mile land mass encompassed within the Lincs boundary, lays on the A158, as you travel through a village called Baumber, that stands equidistantly between Wragby and Horncastle.
Incidentally... in the thirty eight years since I left school, this is the one and only time that Algebra ever came in useful for anything, but hey! That was worth the wait! However, I still haven't found any kind of use whatsoever for Logarithms, since I bade my maths teacher farewell for the last ever time in May 1979.

The Horncastle Terror Squad await the imminent
arrival of the Humbertherm Youth Casuals

To mark the exact spot that is widely considered to be the very middle of 'famous Lincolnshire', a sign has been erected, but the wording is coded, so that only the local population will understand it, while us touristy types are excluded and left to ponder over what the hell: PUMPKINS P-O-Y actually means.
There are a lot of historical connections with the Romans in and around Horncastle, including a town wall ruin that actually stands inside the local library; but that doesn't really explain why the Wong came to be christened thus, because it is a Scandinavian name for an expanse of greenery, used for pasture and/or common land; or in the case of this very quaint corner of Horncastle... a multi use sports facility.
The old railway line that once existed in the area, is now a footpath called the 'Viking Way', which has aroused my curiosity enough to research this market town's links with the Norsemen further and I will report back when/if I uncover anything of interest. Judging by the wind round these parts today, Erik and his mates were probably just passing by 'Skeg' and Ingoldmells, in their longboats and got blown a bit off course.

But enough of this speculative and secondary guesstimating about geographical and historical matters, we're here to watch some Lincolnshire League football.

Both of these sides enjoyed successful afternoons in the Supplementary Cup last weekend, with Horncastle beating Ruston Sports on penalties at Newark Road, after a game that had finished three apiece; while CGB Humbertherm won 3-1 at home, against AFC Boston.
The form book suggested that we may well all be witnessing a home win today, as the 'Wongers' kicked off in second place in the table, level on 13 points with leaders Grimsby Borough Academy (but with a game in hand), while CGB Humbertherm have made an ever so slightly slower start to their league campaign, having won just one and losing four of their opening five league games prior to this afternoon.

Consequently, Grimsby won 2-1 at AFC Boston today, meaning that Horncastle went to the top on goal difference... while their opponents slid to the foot of the table, where they will have to win their games in hand over Boston and Brigg, to claw themselves away from trouble.
Apparently, the Wong is a public space, and as such, the club can't charge admission, so we filled in a few boxes in the football card on the bar, in lieu of an entrance free, secure in the knowledge that we'd be somewhere the other side of Saxilby and well on the way home by the time that the winner was announced, so if our picks won, Horncastle Town would have to keep our unclaimed prize money.
Club overheads and match officials costs all add up after all.

At some 'free admission' games I've attended in the West Yorkshire League, there is often a resident old chap walking around with a collection box and that seems to prick enough consciences to raise a few quid towards expenses. I'm sure that the majority of the 82 people present here today wouldn't have minded chipping in if there was a similar arrangement in the Lincs League.
It's none of my damn business, so I won't repeat what I know, but I saw how much the referee Jack Snowden got paid this afternoon, including travel expenses... and though he earned every penny of it for officiating the game on such a wretched afternoon, Step 7 clubs and their backers aren't made of money, so one shouldn't be shy about contributing a few quid whenever visiting such an excellently maintained enclosure as the Wong.

The game went to form, as the final score suggests, but both teams deserve a lot of credit for the way that they battled against the elements, as Hurricane Higgins, or whatever daft name it is that the Met Office have bestowed this weeks very windy day.
Sections of the pitch have a fenced perimeter, while others are roped off and their is an extended canopy for spectator cover attached to the clubhouse, when shelter from the rain is required.
The unrelenting win was blowing straight across the pitch and providing the ball with a mind of it's own. A great example of how the weather was going to affect the game was provided inside the opening five minutes, when Robbie Aldrich in the visitors goal, was tested with two right wing corners, whipped in by Liam Papworth, that moved about all over the place.

(R) Aldrich was soon in the thick of it again, pushing Andy Bullivant's twenty yard strike around the post at full stretch.
Richard Jackson picked out Stephen Brown with the corner kick, but he headed just past the left hand upright.
Michael Harness beat the Humbertherm keeper with a long range lob that dropped just over the crossbar... it was definitely worth having a go from there on an afternoon such as this.
The visitors were coming under a lot of pressure and finally buckled when the 'Wongers' captain, Chris Johnson got up in support of his attack, latched onto a loose ball just outside the area and thumped an angled shot across the goal area that went in via the left hand post in the nineteenth minute.
Against the run of play, Robin Beecroft almost equalised, when he hooked the ball just wide of the left hand upright, from Jack Barker's lay off.

The game was soon going to script again however, as Jackson delivered two in-swinging left wing corners, right under the away side's crossbar; but Paul Coulam defended the first one by heading it over and Mitchell Taylor cleared the following delivery off the line.
Humbertherm were all over the place as they tried to field another Papworth corner away; Brown's shot was saved, Bullivant's stab at the rebound was blocked, but the rebound bounced towards Ben Fidling, who bulged the back of the net from eight yards.

As the teams took their places in their respective halves to restart the game, my mate Adam who had travelled across with me; a real sports writer who covers women's football in depth, including the national side, told me that the male team he supports: Lincoln City, were losing. I told him that I knew. He enquired how I could possibly have known such a thing... "Well pal, it stands to reason, it's half past three on a Saturday afternoon, 'tis an inevitable scenario".  And eventually my punchline prophecy came true and at the seventy eighth time of telling that old joke, and getting egg all over my face the previous seventy seven times, I can finally retire it.

Luke Blondel tested Lewis Burchnall with a free kick from twenty yards out, but it didn't have quite enough power to beat the Horncastle keeper.

(R) Aldrich tipped a hanging cross from Papworth over his bar as the first half at the wild and windy Wong came to a frantic end. 

Brown had a chance to make it three nil just before the break after combining with Jackson, but Aldrich pulled off yet another save.

As the interval arrived, it was fairly obvious which team was going to win this game, but they already would've done had it not been for the main contender for the man of the match award, namely: Robbie Aldrich.

HT: 1-0

At half time a Horncastle club official presented us with a Horncastle Town pennant apiece as souvenirs of our visit to the Wong and thanked us for getting the club some extra exposure on the internet. 

What a greatly appreciated surprise that was. I hope the extra online traffic doesn't cause too much of a surge, it's well known that both of my regular readers are really enthusiastic about their non-league football.

My missus is going to enjoy the new edition to our home decor when she gets home from work later. But I''m not so sure that she'll be too happy about the PUMPKINS P-O-Y signage souvenir that I've mounted over the photograph of her mum.

At 2-0 there was still a slim mathematical chance that Humbertherm could make their hosts rue not taking a few more of their first half opportunities, but that far fetched notion was rendered inert less than a minute after interval, when Harness burst forward and placed a delightful chip just underneath the visitors cross bar.

The visitors were still scrapping, in spite of the odds stacking up against them more and more, but Papworth put the game beyond there reach in the fifty fourth minute, when he forced the ball over the line, despite some almost pornographic attention from a desperate, or horny (or both), Humbertherm defender.

Brown looked odds on to increase the home side's lead but (R) Aldrich charged from his line and saved bravely at the Horncastle number four's feet.

In the seventy first minute, Horncastle scored their fifth and final goal, when second half substitute Ben Morley swept the ball home from twelve yards out after Fidling knocked a sideways pass into his feet from on the right hand side of the area.

The five goal deficit was cruel on the Humbertherm keeper, but was an accurate enough reflection on the game as a whole.

Blondel's left wing corner was hooked out of the six yard box, but only as far as Coulam who shot over... and moments later Blondel danced through the right channel and shot from fifteen yards but couldn't keep his shot down in the worsening wind and the ball vanished into the car park.

Horncastle ought to have added a sixth, when Paul Cox diverted a free header over the bar from Jackson's left wing free kick. Please note, this is a different Paul Cox to the one who managed Mansfield Town when they won promotion back to the Football League.

(R) Aldrich saved at Morley's feet, twice, with the clock ticking down and right at the death, Morley took the name of the three added minutes too literally and went over on his ankle while trying to taking the ball round the Humbertherm keeper in injury time.

FT: Horncastle Town 5 v CGB Humbertherm 0

We spoke to the visitors (player) manager at the end of the game, he was remarkably calm and had maintained a dignified posture in the face of an overwhelming defeat, offering nothing but praise and encouragement in a calm and collected manner throughout this one sided encounter. But you kind of picked up on a vibe that 'behind closed doors' he wasn't going to be quite so magnanimous... fair play to him, what goes on in any dressing room should stay in there. Respect pal!

The grim lighting today, combined with my point and hope, cheap camera/shaky grip handicap, proved to be a unfruitful combination, as the pictures above will testify. 

But, if you look up Paul from Morpeth on Twitter @ternent_paul, he got some really good photographs and didn't hide out of the wind like we did for most of the second half, they obviously make them rough and tough up Craic Park way... charmed to make your acquaintance fella... and that of the many locals who went out of their way to make us welcome and accept us into their bosom. 

Good luck to both sides for the remainder of the season, we've already been scanning the Lincolnshire League fixtures to see where we can fit a few more future visits in any time soon.

TEAM DETAILS

Horncastle Town:

CGB Humbetherm: